Soldiers Nabbed by Islamo-fascists

By now everyone knows that two U.S. soldiers have been taken captive by terrorists in Iraq. The prayers of Americans around the country go up for these men that they'll be found soon and very much alive and well.

We can only hope that our men won't be subjected to the horrific "panty torture" treatment now known around the world as one of the most cruel torture tactics ever devised wherein panties are forcefully placed on the captives' heads.

We can only hope that they aren't stripped naked and forced to participate in nude human pyramids. How despotic that would be.

We can only hope that the they aren't forced to wear dog collars and put on a leash like common dogs. The thought of that is nearly unbearable.

We can only hope that they won't be terrified by barking dogs or deprived of sleep or subjected to the horrors of loud music.

If they are imprisoned, let's hope they will have access to the Holy Bible and allowed prayer time like they are at Club Gitmo. Hopefully they won't be deprived of whatever prescription medication they require, and surely they'll be able to eat a diet of American food with which they are accustomed.

The captors could face real trouble if they don't treat our GI's according to the Geneva Convention rules and regulations. Surely they'll comply to the international standards.

Did I call them captors? I meant to call them murdering Islamo-fascist dogs who need to be smeared with lard before being mercilessly taken out.

In the meantime our missing soldiers really do need our prayers.